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Thursday, March 11
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Tuesday, March 9
IS BISEXUALITY A DEALBEAKER?
By Patrick Parton
Is not disclosing the truth the same as lying? This is a huge gray area to some people and most would say it would depend on the situation.
Of course, this may be true in most scenarios...We've all heard the cliche “What they don't know wont hurt them” We try to protect the feelings of the people we care about.
Because of the stigma attached to alternative lifestyles, most bisexual men that I've known have been very discrete about their sexuality and basically live a secret life from their family, friends, employers and, yes...their wives and girlfriends.
I've personally known women who have caught their husbands or boyfriends in bed with another man and took it far more personal than if it was with another woman..or two women..or even ten.
This would be the obvious deal breaker , of course. Cheating is cheating, despite the gender.
The second deal breaker applies to people like me, who feel the need to air out all the dirty laundry during the “Getting to know you stage” with this new person that I am considering as a partner.
Of course, not everyone would feel inclined to be so upfront about it, but everyone who knows me personally, that matters...Knows that I've had relationships with Men and Women for years and I wouldn't want to create any awkward situations for me or my partner. It's a very small world.
I'd rather this be a deal breaker from the beginning, before I have invested time in the relationship and have become emotionally attached to this person.
Luckily, it hasn't been a major issue for me so far and I have been respected for my honestly and open mindedness, but in all fairness, most people I've dated have had very little room to judge, so results may vary.
Carefully choosing your demographic of people to associate with is a major factor in finding your place, identity and comfort level in your alternative lifestyle.
Black and white thinking people tend to disregard bisexuality as an identity and are quick to form a stereotypical opinion of you.
When it comes to sexuality, people tend to be very touchy, especially if they've never been exposed to someone who has lived an alternative lifestyle or if their belief system simply finds it socially or morally wrong. You'll never win that battle , so don't beat yourself up over it, you cant expect everyone to understand. That doesn't mean they're a bad person, they just think differently.
FINAL NOTE:
Consider the extent of exposure you have had to the lifestyle before your moment of self disclosure...You may want to keep it to yourself if your big secret is that you jerked off your friend in 5th grade and haven't acted on any other impulses since.
Especially with Women...I haven't met too many who haven't at least tried some form of experimentation. Fortunately for woman, guys think it's sexy and it automatically increases your “Cool factor”. With guys..Not so much.
I can honestly say though, there are some freaky women out there that get turned by seeing two guys together..But that's a whole other secret society.
Is not disclosing the truth the same as lying? This is a huge gray area to some people and most would say it would depend on the situation.
Of course, this may be true in most scenarios...We've all heard the cliche “What they don't know wont hurt them” We try to protect the feelings of the people we care about.
Because of the stigma attached to alternative lifestyles, most bisexual men that I've known have been very discrete about their sexuality and basically live a secret life from their family, friends, employers and, yes...their wives and girlfriends.
I've personally known women who have caught their husbands or boyfriends in bed with another man and took it far more personal than if it was with another woman..or two women..or even ten.
This would be the obvious deal breaker , of course. Cheating is cheating, despite the gender.
The second deal breaker applies to people like me, who feel the need to air out all the dirty laundry during the “Getting to know you stage” with this new person that I am considering as a partner.
Of course, not everyone would feel inclined to be so upfront about it, but everyone who knows me personally, that matters...Knows that I've had relationships with Men and Women for years and I wouldn't want to create any awkward situations for me or my partner. It's a very small world.
I'd rather this be a deal breaker from the beginning, before I have invested time in the relationship and have become emotionally attached to this person.
Luckily, it hasn't been a major issue for me so far and I have been respected for my honestly and open mindedness, but in all fairness, most people I've dated have had very little room to judge, so results may vary.
Carefully choosing your demographic of people to associate with is a major factor in finding your place, identity and comfort level in your alternative lifestyle.
Black and white thinking people tend to disregard bisexuality as an identity and are quick to form a stereotypical opinion of you.
When it comes to sexuality, people tend to be very touchy, especially if they've never been exposed to someone who has lived an alternative lifestyle or if their belief system simply finds it socially or morally wrong. You'll never win that battle , so don't beat yourself up over it, you cant expect everyone to understand. That doesn't mean they're a bad person, they just think differently.
FINAL NOTE:
Consider the extent of exposure you have had to the lifestyle before your moment of self disclosure...You may want to keep it to yourself if your big secret is that you jerked off your friend in 5th grade and haven't acted on any other impulses since.
Especially with Women...I haven't met too many who haven't at least tried some form of experimentation. Fortunately for woman, guys think it's sexy and it automatically increases your “Cool factor”. With guys..Not so much.
I can honestly say though, there are some freaky women out there that get turned by seeing two guys together..But that's a whole other secret society.
BISEXUAL BY DEFINITION
By Patrick Parton
Sexual identity is one of those things, you either know what you like or you don't. Right?
Not necessarily, but the general consensus is...”Bisexuals are sexually confused”
The confusion associated with most bisexuals isn't necessarily limited to the inner turmoil some may feel, but defining who is bisexual and what is the threshold one must cross to be considered a bisexual.
BY DEFINITION:
Bisexual
1. Of, relating to, or having a sexual attraction to or desire for persons of both sexes.
2. A person who identifies himself or herself as having a sexual attraction toward both sexes
The word can be referred to as one's identity or one's behavior...and all the gray areas in between.
There have been numerous studies that explore bisexual behavior and traits to identify and define this very diverse, almost invisible society.
According to the Kinsey scale, there are multiple degrees of bisexuality.
The sudy suggests, on a scale from 1 to 6, with heterosexuals at 0 and homosexuals at 6, all others in between(from 1-5)would be considered Bisexual.
Someone falling into the 1 or 2's on the scale would primarily prefer the opposite sex but have thoughts about sex or intimacy with the same sex, but not necessarily acting upon it.
People falling in at 3, or midpoint on the scale, would be equally attracted to men and women.
The 4-5 range would be those who primarily have same sex relationship, with heterosexual tendencies.
As defined in a model of sexual behavior by J.R. Little, there are 13 different types of Bisexuals(Or stages of Bisexuality)
Alternating bisexuals:
May have a relationship with a man, and then after that relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, and many go back to a male partner next.
Circumstantial bisexuals:
Primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only in situations where they have no access to other-sex partners, such as when in jail, in the military, or in a gender-segregated school.
Concurrent relationship bisexuals:
Pave primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.
Conditional bisexuals:
Either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a relationship with another gender for financial or career gain or for a specific purpose, such as young straight males who become gay prostitutes or lesbians who get married to men in order to gain acceptance from family members or to have children.
Emotional bisexuals:
Have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.
Integrated bisexuals:
Have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.
Exploratory bisexuals:
eEther straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or "see what it's like."
Hedonistic bisexuals:
Primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.
Recreational bisexuals:
Primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
Isolated bisexuals:
100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.
Latent bisexuals:
Completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it.
Motivational bisexuals:
Straight women who have sex with other women only because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.
Transitional bisexuals:
Temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.
FINAL NOTE:
Bisexuality will most likely never be accepted or understood as a whole, by society, but self acceptance and understanding of your own orientation and identity should be explored, embraced with confidence and structured into a lifestyle that fits, whether you prefer to wear the label or not.
Sexual identity is one of those things, you either know what you like or you don't. Right?
Not necessarily, but the general consensus is...”Bisexuals are sexually confused”
The confusion associated with most bisexuals isn't necessarily limited to the inner turmoil some may feel, but defining who is bisexual and what is the threshold one must cross to be considered a bisexual.
BY DEFINITION:
Bisexual
1. Of, relating to, or having a sexual attraction to or desire for persons of both sexes.
2. A person who identifies himself or herself as having a sexual attraction toward both sexes
The word can be referred to as one's identity or one's behavior...and all the gray areas in between.
There have been numerous studies that explore bisexual behavior and traits to identify and define this very diverse, almost invisible society.
According to the Kinsey scale, there are multiple degrees of bisexuality.
The sudy suggests, on a scale from 1 to 6, with heterosexuals at 0 and homosexuals at 6, all others in between(from 1-5)would be considered Bisexual.
Someone falling into the 1 or 2's on the scale would primarily prefer the opposite sex but have thoughts about sex or intimacy with the same sex, but not necessarily acting upon it.
People falling in at 3, or midpoint on the scale, would be equally attracted to men and women.
The 4-5 range would be those who primarily have same sex relationship, with heterosexual tendencies.
As defined in a model of sexual behavior by J.R. Little, there are 13 different types of Bisexuals(Or stages of Bisexuality)
Alternating bisexuals:
May have a relationship with a man, and then after that relationship ends, may choose a female partner for a subsequent relationship, and many go back to a male partner next.
Circumstantial bisexuals:
Primarily heterosexual, but will choose same sex partners only in situations where they have no access to other-sex partners, such as when in jail, in the military, or in a gender-segregated school.
Concurrent relationship bisexuals:
Pave primary relationship with one gender only but have other casual or secondary relationships with people of another gender at the same time.
Conditional bisexuals:
Either straight or gay/lesbian, but will switch to a relationship with another gender for financial or career gain or for a specific purpose, such as young straight males who become gay prostitutes or lesbians who get married to men in order to gain acceptance from family members or to have children.
Emotional bisexuals:
Have intimate emotional relationships with both men and women, but only have sexual relationships with one gender.
Integrated bisexuals:
Have more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.
Exploratory bisexuals:
eEther straight or gay/lesbian, but have sex with another gender just to satisfy curiosity or "see what it's like."
Hedonistic bisexuals:
Primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will sometimes have sex with another gender primarily for fun or purely sexual satisfaction.
Recreational bisexuals:
Primarily heterosexual but engage in gay or lesbian sex only when under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol.
Isolated bisexuals:
100% straight or gay/lesbian now but has had at one or more sexual experience with another gender in the past.
Latent bisexuals:
Completely straight or gay lesbian in behavior but have strong desire for sex with another gender, but have never acted on it.
Motivational bisexuals:
Straight women who have sex with other women only because a male partner insists on it to titillate him.
Transitional bisexuals:
Temporarily identify as bisexual while in the process of moving from being straight to being gay or lesbian, or going from being gay or lesbian to being heterosexual.
FINAL NOTE:
Bisexuality will most likely never be accepted or understood as a whole, by society, but self acceptance and understanding of your own orientation and identity should be explored, embraced with confidence and structured into a lifestyle that fits, whether you prefer to wear the label or not.
WELCOME TO THE BISEXUAL
Welcome to THE BISEXUAL!! The soapbox of bisexual views, news, opinions and random factual information that could be of some use...
-Enjoy!!
-Enjoy!!
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