IS BISEXUALITY A DEALBEAKER?

By Patrick Parton

Is not disclosing the truth the same as lying? This is a huge gray area to some people and most would say it would depend on the situation.

Of course, this may be true in most scenarios...We've all heard the cliche “What they don't know wont hurt them” We try to protect the feelings of the people we care about.

Because of the stigma attached to alternative lifestyles, most bisexual men that I've known have been very discrete about their sexuality and basically live a secret life from their family, friends, employers and, yes...their wives and girlfriends.

I've personally known women who have caught their husbands or boyfriends in bed with another man and took it far more personal than if it was with another woman..or two women..or even ten.

This would be the obvious deal breaker , of course. Cheating is cheating, despite the gender.

The second deal breaker applies to people like me, who feel the need to air out all the dirty laundry during the “Getting to know you stage” with this new person that I am considering as a partner.

Of course, not everyone would feel inclined to be so upfront about it, but everyone who knows me personally, that matters...Knows that I've had relationships with Men and Women for years and I wouldn't want to create any awkward situations for me or my partner. It's a very small world.

I'd rather this be a deal breaker from the beginning, before I have invested time in the relationship and have become emotionally attached to this person.

Luckily, it hasn't been a major issue for me so far and I have been respected for my honestly and open mindedness, but in all fairness, most people I've dated have had very little room to judge, so results may vary.

Carefully choosing your demographic of people to associate with is a major factor in finding your place, identity and comfort level in your alternative lifestyle.

Black and white thinking people tend to disregard bisexuality as an identity and are quick to form a stereotypical opinion of you.

When it comes to sexuality, people tend to be very touchy, especially if they've never been exposed to someone who has lived an alternative lifestyle or if their belief system simply finds it socially or morally wrong. You'll never win that battle , so don't beat yourself up over it, you cant expect everyone to understand. That doesn't mean they're a bad person, they just think differently.

FINAL NOTE:
Consider the extent of exposure you have had to the lifestyle before your moment of self disclosure...You may want to keep it to yourself if your big secret is that you jerked off your friend in 5th grade and haven't acted on any other impulses since.

Especially with Women...I haven't met too many who haven't at least tried some form of experimentation. Fortunately for woman, guys think it's sexy and it automatically increases your “Cool factor”. With guys..Not so much.

I can honestly say though, there are some freaky women out there that get turned by seeing two guys together..But that's a whole other secret society.